


Past and Present

by fictitiousLiterate



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pre Safehouse, Short & Sweet, martin has some self loathing issues, post 159
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictitiousLiterate/pseuds/fictitiousLiterate
Summary: Jon goes full caretaker once they leave the Lonely and Martin doesn't understand why.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 7
Kudos: 213





	Past and Present

It turns out that when Jon said “let’s get you home,” he meant literally. Jon leads Martin out of the Lonely directly into his flat. It’s bigger than Martin imagined it being; Jon’s bedroom appeared to be separate from the combined living room/ kitchen. Jon tries to deposit Martin on the couch but he can’t unclasp their hands.

“Martin, hey, I’m right here,” Jon says, sitting next to Martin and squeezing his hand. “Can I go get you a blanket and maybe some tea? I won’t leave earshot.”

Martin hadn’t even realized he was still gripping Jon’s hand and lets go of it immediately in embarrassment. He feels much colder without the point of contact, but it’s fine, he’ll get over it.

“I still have the blanket you got me for the office Secret Santa somewhere. I don’t know if I properly thanked you for it, actually, but it’s my favorite blanket…” Jon drones on about blankets and Christmas parties for a bit until he comes back with the blanket in question. It was large, plush, and red which Martin was fairly sure was Jon’s favorite color. Jon had been very cool in his reception of it at the time, but now it was his favorite blanket? Martin wasn’t sure if Jon was lying or not. He came back draped the blanket over Martin and made sure he was wrapped snugly before getting back up to make tea.

“I bought the same kind of tea you used to make me. Is that alright? I have some other teas as well if there’s something else you’d prefer. I’ll just bring a selection while the water boils.” Jon called from the kitchen as Martin heard him fill the pot and often several cabinets. Sure enough, Jon came back with a couple of boxes of tea, including a nearly empty box of Lady Grey. That was a popular enough kind of tea that Jon probably already had it around. Martin frowned, Jon buzzing around him like this was making him uncomfortable. Possibly because it reminded him of himself when he would fuss over Jon. He’d been so foolish. Even outside of the Lonely Martin knew Jon would never love someone like him back.

“Martin, are you with me?” Jon asked softly, like he expected Martin to bolt or fade away.

“You don’t have to, you know,” Martin replies, “I’ll be fine. I just need a moment.”

“I want to though. Besides, you just left The Lonely it’s probably better if you aren’t left alone for a bit.” “I was the one who fell for Peter Lukas’ trap. You really don’t have to do this.”

Jon opens his mouth, his brows knitting together like he wants to argue before seemingly thinking better of whatever it was he had to say. Instead, he looks at him sadly.

“You deserve to be cared for Martin. I know I’m probably not your first choice, but I want to.” As Jon says this, he reaches for Martin’s face before pausing to gauge his reaction. Martin pushes the hand away because he knows that if Jon touches him again he won’t want him to stop. By this point, the kettle is boiling and Jon leaves the couch to get mugs. He returns with two mugs full of hot water, a carton of almond milk, and a container of honey.

“You know, I didn’t really like my tea sweetened until you-” Jon began but Martin cut him off.

“Stop. Just _stop_. You don’t have to keep pretending your feelings have changed because of what I said, ok? It’s not going to lift the Lonely off any faster. So just stop.” Martin says. He doesn’t want pity and that is certainly all Jon is giving him. “You rescued Daisy from the Buried and this is no different, ok?”

“Martin, I know you said it past-tense and I probably drove you away years ago, but I do... care for you deeply. I’m sorry I’m being so overbearing. I can back off if that’s what you want. ” Jon talks so carefully, like he’s calculating each word and when he’s done he scoots away from Martin on the couch to fiddle with his tea.

“No, Jon. _I_ love _you_ and you don’t have to pretend to love me back.” Martin’s voice is shaking and he doesn’t realize why until he feels tears sliding down his face.

“Martin, I’m not pretending,” Jon speaks with such conviction as he looks up from his tea and reaches out again before stopping his hand. “I love you. I want to make sure you’re alright because _I love you_. I know I’ve been awful to you in the past, but I want to make it up to you now. If you’ll let me.”

Martin takes Jon’s outstretched hand and presses it to his face. Jon starts wiping tears away even as ones form in his own eyes. Martin reaches out to touch Jon’s face and Jon nuzzles his hand and smiles.

“I didn’t think we’d have that conversation until much later,” Jon sighs. “I’m glad you know now, though.”

The content look on Jon’s face is too much for Martin in that moment and he pulls him into a slightly contorted hug. Just to bury his face in Jon’s neck because he can’t take the softness on Jon’s face at that moment. Martin can’t stop himself from sobbing. He feels so emotionally drained and he finally feels safe enough to just let it all out. Jon is definitely crying, too. Martin can feel tears wetting his neck.

“I’ve got you, Martin. I’m here. I’ll be here as long as you let me.” Jon is murmuring into Martin’s neck while they hold each other for so long that their tea starts to get cold. They both eventually stop crying but they continue to hold each other and Martin nearly falls asleep, despite the angle he’s leaning at.

“Martin, would you be ok if we shared my bed tonight? I mean, I can take the couch if you want but… I’d rather be close to you.” Jon asks after Martin nearly dozes off in his arms, but doesn’t let go of Martin.

Martin hums in agreement but doesn’t move to let go of Jon.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @leighistired on Tumblr. Come say hi!


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